a break in the weather

Saturday we had a picnic, it has become a family tradition to meet up with my other half's brother and his lovely family at a park, that is sort of half way between their place and ours. A lovely big park with a lake, lots of ovals, a university nearby that sells plants and a childrens' play area. The last couple of years we haven't been to the play area however this year they were able to get a table nearby and do exactly that. My sister-in-law is very good at picking the perfect spot. This year we didn't bring food (except for a little blueberry cheesecake) we just bought some drinks. We forgot the water so this is going on the list for next time. It was a wonderful day lots of lovely food, some presents given and received, a good play and a commitment to meet up again next year for our tradition.

My Redheaded hurricane loved playing with all the big boys. He was running around mad, he even wanted to be home quickly taking a short cut as he was SOOOOOOOO tired and needed his bed. He spent time collecting acorns, he has a lot now from off the grown and I am not sure what he is going to do with them. I am sure we can find some quick craft project to use some as he has so many and so too my Petal.

We really had lots of treats today and bought a couple of things but nothing that wasn't necessary. I bought a pair of pants (my jeans are not going to cut it when I am back at study) with a voucher that were on sale and ended up paying $4.50. We had a big lovely thai brunch which cost $16 for all of us and we couldn't eat another things as we were all full oh yes the kiddies had a treat of chocolate truffles for $1 each who doesn't love treats and the lovely cheesecake which was $9.00 and there was enough to go around all of us, with a little leftover.

$16 seems to be our magic number for entertainment or a treat. We went swimming with the children on Wednesday that lovely warm day. They had a ball going on the waterslide and attempting to splash and jump on us in the water. My Petal discovered that she is able to move more freely and experimented in water even by attempting to lift both myself and my husband. Her favourite part was carrying her brother.

My Red Headed Hurricane, who we have always thought could and would talk underwater proved us correct by doing exactly that. After going down the water slide (the faster one!) and being caught by me at the bottom, could not contain himself and wait until he was actually above the waters surface and started telling me before with the bubbly glug, glug coming out as he was being lifted up. As soon as he was above the surface he continued with the conversation very excited about how fast he went down the slide and under the water. Barely finished he was off again up the stairs to manipulate the older kids into letting him go down first. My Petal liked the straight slide which goes almost as fast and makes her squeal with delight just as she hits the water with a bomb position and splashes myself and my other half with a wall of water. Giggling and laughing asking if we saw her.

A bit more distance between the redundancy and a bit more time with the family is helping the situation.

moving along

Move along!

I am feeling like things are moving a bit into more positive territory. I saw things making progress today both at home and outside. I like to stay home and feel safer when something bad happens or a big change, I am not sure which one this falls into one or the other category. I had a good day today. I spent money, getting things with money that I received from a refund. I did surveys and qualified for movie tickets, I did ironing and washing.

My other half does not want to work for someone again. I think we hate what people can do to our little family and turn our world upside down every year. I am unsure how this will work but I do like the idea of being self sufficient and not answering to a boss that might treat us and our family like dirt which has occurred too many times in the past. I like the idea of him working from home. I like the idea of being able to do other things and not having to be reliant on traveling to the city and hoping the traffic is good and he will be home at a semi-decent time. So i am open to what is happening and adjusting to this. In the meantime we are finding ways to bring in money and have very little expenditure.

We are off on a picnic with the family (brother and his lovely family) on the weekend. All we hope for is decent weather and if not we will find somewhere with cover i am sure. The simple pleasures are often the best and the cheapest.

AGAIN!

The kiddies are back at school and we are traveling along as per usual. I had just started my first massage after the holidays. Although I did massage whilst I was away.

I contacted my other half to request his presence for a parent teacher interview that afternoon late. He told me that he was made redundant. I knew it was coming, I knew I should be better prepared, after all this was not the first time, wont be the last and yet this time it hit hard. I had not had a chance after the holidays and all the bills of February and a bit of spending for preparation to put away like I had the last time. This time will be a bit harder. At least I know what to do.

So today I was cooking and trying to move on from yesterday. To look at the positives and not be overwhelmed by that drowning feeling. I know that I have to start planning and getting another income in very quickly. The savings are down and the expenses are rolling in. I am back remembering how I went last time and trying to move on. I know how we should have at least 3 months in savings (put away) to tide us through anything like this happening in this current climate. I know that I should have been better prepared and not tried to ignore what was looming. I know that I should have not spent money when we came back from holidays, I know all these things however well too late now. I have to make the most of what we have.

So today I looked at the pantry and ignored the bank account, (alright I had a sneak peek twice incase something magical appeared. You know bank error in your favour collect $2000.00.) The pantry is well stocked so that is a good start. I cooked, stuffed capsicums, salmon patties and the boys made pancakes. I looked at our veggie garden which was destroyed by the hail at christmas and hoped that something might appear tomorrow. I looked at the fridge and well that is alright too. (I know my dear friend would laugh and say that it is always full).

So how do I get an income.... my massage certificate comes mid march. We have a couple of things that are overdue for selling so that is a start, once they are gone some expenses will be reduced. Every little bit helps.

After I thought about things for a while, I felt like I could breath a bit. My head is not in a good place yet but well tomorrow I am sure will feel different again. Maybe some baking and sewing is in order to help things feel that bit better.

well another year....

Today the kiddies both started school. My red headed hurricane has his first day at prep, there was no tears, no I will miss you or don't go just yet, it was bye bye, I am going to have so much fun. So that was it! No hesitation just ready for the next challenge. Good to see that he is feeling confident and ready. My Petal wasn't quite so good but she was happy to be with her friends and start a new school year. All smiles and happiness.

I dashed home, did lots and lots of chores and even had a moment to think. I miss them dearly. My Petal was happy to be back, she is not with her core group of friends this year so I am wondering how that will work for her. I am hoping that it allows her to make a new group of friends and enjoy others as well. She normally has no problems making friends so I am waiting to hear all about it.

I have less than 1 month before I return to classes to remedial massage this time (Full time). I am dreading the workload and juggling the day to day responsibilities and family. It is going to be very interesting. At least now I have my regulars (amazing group of women that help me get through the year) I can practice on and keep massaging during the year to get my hours up and practice the new skills that I am learning. Not to mention help them. I had a lovely message today of how much one of the mums needed me and missed me. That was grand! Always nice to be need and help someone.

I have a to do list that is a mile long however I am not phased, I am just going to keep chipping away. So far my boys room has been painted. He is very happy and well that is a task that has been hanging around on the list FAR TOO LONG. So now all I have to do is sew his curtains and then I will leave it be for a moment oppps no I have to paint the skirting, he wants white and rejected my choice of wood with vanish. No problem it can go in our room instead. Which is next on the painting list. I made a start on the undercoat and that is it. The hot weather, the holidays and the assignments took over.

So for the next month. I need to catch up with the lovely friends. The ones that are still talking to after I had no time whilst studying last year to even have a short visit.

that time of the year.

I am stressed, tired and over things lately. I have been snappy and horrible and yelling and I feel like I am never going to finish and do the things all screaming at me to be done around the house, the garden and the kiddies. (Not to mention the neglected and berated other half).

Then i look up and realise that all I have is one subject to go.... 2 assignments and I am done and qualified, for this year. Imagine my surprise and amazement, normally I would have thrown it all in by now, lost interest or motivation. This time is feels different, not easy, not saying that I don't want to throw my hands in the air and so I am over this, just different. I keep chipping away. i keep practising and getting more clients and I keep going.

I also have those moments when I realise that life is good. I have a special little task completed that has been calling to me and I am so happy. My other half has been doing amazing things around the house (small but wonderful). An outside power plug, that makes my life so much easier. No cords on the steps to worry about tripping over and the vacuum actually reaches to the car. This makes me smile and remember that life is not so hard after all and someone is thinking of you. My petal is doing Occupational therapy after 11 months on the waiting list and well we are making good progress there too. My red headed hurricane is starting school next year and so very excited and ready.

So I am dashing off to do the study for the last exam tonight. I just have to find that last bit of effort and motivation and we are done!

back to it.

Yesterday was full on. The children were back at school and kinder. I had a repeat exam first thing in the morning and then the afternoon to try not to worry. I decided whilst it was still reasonable weather outside to spend some of the nervous energy doing a job that I have put for for a while now. The poor old plum tree desperately needed a good cut and opening up. So I did it yesterday. I thought about the last time that I had cut the tree, whilst dad was still alive and directing the procedure from the lounge room window. He kept telling me to keep going and I think I felt him saying the same thing yesterday. Well the rain came and I didn't get it all done but goodness it has made a difference already with what I did. Then to the inside and I had the same thing, vacuuming the entire house which was good. So needed it, everything has been put on hold whilst studying especially for the exam. Then off to pick up and swimming for my red headed hurricane. I remember a time not so long again that he would scream at every lesson and wondered with the change of venue and teacher that this might reoccur? He was anxious but happy and decided that he was going to enjoy it. He had a ball, a new friend, a lovely teacher who is able to keep him in check and a big pool that was only daunting for a moment.

Yesterday in spite of what might be looming turned out to be a good day for lots of progress, not just sweating it out waiting for the results. I do hate it when they tell you that you will get them that day and you watch the phone like a hawk and then it doesn't happen. So now today the wait starts all over again. I really need to keep busy again today and surprisingly enough after the school holidays and everything put on hold I have lots to do that.

I started culling yesterday which made me surprisingly happy so i might try that again today. Ok, enough fun on the computer off to it!

if I was me.....

My boy was discussing serious items with us late last night in the car. He started with "If I was me, which I am" I couldn't stop laughing and missed the rest of it, but thought that this was quite entertaining.

My petal is struggling with the changes in her diet. So many chemicals so many things to consider especially during the school holidays. Not easy to find and deal with these things.

I am super stressed and I have this funny theory that people will understand and stop making demands or doing nasty things to me. Of course this theory is ALWAYS disproved at this time however I would like for it to stand just once.

We visited the coast, I normally find some peace or something that helps me within, not this time! No peaceful inner harmony or inner strength found, nothing except this overwhelming stress that is happening and is not being lifted. I understood totally why one of my friends at school said he was going to withdraw and not complete the course. We talked him around of course however I felt like saying ME TOO, lets go and get a drink and celebrate! So that night at class we were given 3 more things that are so big we didn't even want to consider. The first being the 8 hours of clinic. We massage for 3 hours and do all the note taking and setting up etc for the other hour. Then we have another 4 hour of administration to do. What a shame it is the weekend that we were going away for our wedding anniversary! Another assignment which is due in January! too big to even contemplate and an exam. I have one to repeat on Monday and well the pressure is just about at breaking point.

Sometimes it would be nice to say when!

WHEN!