my girls anniversary

Today is the day that we have a picnic in the cemetery.  We take flowers and balloons and the children play there if it's not raining.  I used to set up the picnic next to her grave now there are more children there so we sit nearby. I think of all the amazing things that my Lily would have done and wonder what it would be like to have two girls here with me.

My darling other half put up the pictures late last night. I was so happy whilst lying in bed looking up at them.

We try to be extra kind to each other today.

i can remember exactly what I did 8 years ago today.  I with the events started to blur however they remain vivid as ever.  I always wonder what I could have done that would have prevented this.... although now i just wonder before I racked myself with guilt.

The children are home from school, today we try to stay together.  I know that from past experience if we separate the day becomes a bit of a nightmare instead of the gentle time that normally spend together.

All the stress in the lead up to today vanishes as the day unfolds.  

I ask the world please send me a butterfly today.... I ask that i have one simple gesture that my beautiful girl is with us still not just in our hearts.