Sunday, June 19, 2011

Another exam done!

I am finding that this year is screaming by... that the course is taking up all my time or the study and exams are. We did go to my first gardening group for ages. All the people there were surprised at how much the children have grown so we know that we haven't been for a while. Lovely wondering around someone else's garden and see what can be created. To take away ideas and plant cuttings. To talk about people that have honour systems still and to be reminded of how simple and wonderful things can be in this world. That we have a common interest but when oh when do i find the time and energy that is needed to devote to the garden. I do a little bit of weeding for bin day and do a bit of planting when the plants are there and going to do if I don't plant them but that is it. I have wonderful plans, an orchard, a chicken pen, a design in my head but nothing on paper and no plans for future planting or drawing.

I am neglecting my family and my friends, I find that I type a quick email and then that is it.... I feel the guilt when I stop but whilst I am busy learning anatomy and all the new words that my tongue refuses to accept that I don't even think about anything else. My weekends are now being consumed with study days, that make me tired and over things when I get home. i love this amazing journey however venting is sometimes necessary.

I hate the guilt that goes with not spending enough quality time with the children. I find myself wondering how I could do things better all the time. My good friend talks to me about getting the whip out and self flagellating.

So instead of getting down about it, I have to make a plan. I need to go and buy some wicks for the candle making process that will start very soon. I need to get a bit more organised and have the machine out with the embroidery and make a couple of pillowcases and bags for both of them and with their favourite characters and then we will get busy! I have a lot of catching up to do with both of them and lots and lots of cuddles will be given and received!