Yesterday was full on. The children were back at school and kinder. I had a repeat exam first thing in the morning and then the afternoon to try not to worry. I decided whilst it was still reasonable weather outside to spend some of the nervous energy doing a job that I have put for for a while now. The poor old plum tree desperately needed a good cut and opening up. So I did it yesterday. I thought about the last time that I had cut the tree, whilst dad was still alive and directing the procedure from the lounge room window. He kept telling me to keep going and I think I felt him saying the same thing yesterday. Well the rain came and I didn't get it all done but goodness it has made a difference already with what I did. Then to the inside and I had the same thing, vacuuming the entire house which was good. So needed it, everything has been put on hold whilst studying especially for the exam. Then off to pick up and swimming for my red headed hurricane. I remember a time not so long again that he would scream at every lesson and wondered with the change of venue and teacher that this might reoccur? He was anxious but happy and decided that he was going to enjoy it. He had a ball, a new friend, a lovely teacher who is able to keep him in check and a big pool that was only daunting for a moment.
Yesterday in spite of what might be looming turned out to be a good day for lots of progress, not just sweating it out waiting for the results. I do hate it when they tell you that you will get them that day and you watch the phone like a hawk and then it doesn't happen. So now today the wait starts all over again. I really need to keep busy again today and surprisingly enough after the school holidays and everything put on hold I have lots to do that.
I started culling yesterday which made me surprisingly happy so i might try that again today. Ok, enough fun on the computer off to it!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
if I was me.....
My boy was discussing serious items with us late last night in the car. He started with "If I was me, which I am" I couldn't stop laughing and missed the rest of it, but thought that this was quite entertaining.
My petal is struggling with the changes in her diet. So many chemicals so many things to consider especially during the school holidays. Not easy to find and deal with these things.
I am super stressed and I have this funny theory that people will understand and stop making demands or doing nasty things to me. Of course this theory is ALWAYS disproved at this time however I would like for it to stand just once.
We visited the coast, I normally find some peace or something that helps me within, not this time! No peaceful inner harmony or inner strength found, nothing except this overwhelming stress that is happening and is not being lifted. I understood totally why one of my friends at school said he was going to withdraw and not complete the course. We talked him around of course however I felt like saying ME TOO, lets go and get a drink and celebrate! So that night at class we were given 3 more things that are so big we didn't even want to consider. The first being the 8 hours of clinic. We massage for 3 hours and do all the note taking and setting up etc for the other hour. Then we have another 4 hour of administration to do. What a shame it is the weekend that we were going away for our wedding anniversary! Another assignment which is due in January! too big to even contemplate and an exam. I have one to repeat on Monday and well the pressure is just about at breaking point.
Sometimes it would be nice to say when!
WHEN!
My petal is struggling with the changes in her diet. So many chemicals so many things to consider especially during the school holidays. Not easy to find and deal with these things.
I am super stressed and I have this funny theory that people will understand and stop making demands or doing nasty things to me. Of course this theory is ALWAYS disproved at this time however I would like for it to stand just once.
We visited the coast, I normally find some peace or something that helps me within, not this time! No peaceful inner harmony or inner strength found, nothing except this overwhelming stress that is happening and is not being lifted. I understood totally why one of my friends at school said he was going to withdraw and not complete the course. We talked him around of course however I felt like saying ME TOO, lets go and get a drink and celebrate! So that night at class we were given 3 more things that are so big we didn't even want to consider. The first being the 8 hours of clinic. We massage for 3 hours and do all the note taking and setting up etc for the other hour. Then we have another 4 hour of administration to do. What a shame it is the weekend that we were going away for our wedding anniversary! Another assignment which is due in January! too big to even contemplate and an exam. I have one to repeat on Monday and well the pressure is just about at breaking point.
Sometimes it would be nice to say when!
WHEN!
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